Sales Break : Humour Times

Name Matters

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. 'What is your name?' was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
'John,' the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, 'Look...I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only...Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?'
The new guy sighed, 'Darling. My name is John Darling.'
'Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is......'

Advertising & Marketing Fundas

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends approaches her, points at you and says, "He's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You approach her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You approach her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
Now That's Brand Recognition!

Impress Your Client ??

I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink.

I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."

"Yes?"

"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, "and I'm waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, 'Hi Ray'?"

"Sure."

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.

About ten minutes later my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business.

A couple of minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.

"Hi Ray," he said.

I replied, "Screw off Gates, I'm in a meeting."

Strong Sales Pitch

Private Jones was assigned to the Army induction center, where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their Serviceman's Group Life Insurance (SGLI). It wasn't long before the center's Lieutenant noticed that Private Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Lt. stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch.

Jones explained the basics of the SGLI to the new recruits, and then said, "If you have SGLI and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have SGLI, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6,000." "Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?


Sales Contest

Sales manager addressing an under performing sales force at the start of a new month:
"We are going to have a sales contest this month. The winners will get to enter next month's contest."